5 Life Lessons I’m Taking Into My 30s (That Changed Everything in My 20s)

Sometimes life chooses the hardest paths to teach us the most important lessons. No matter how much you try to blame others, fate, or even yourself, the only real choice you're left with is to live through those moments, learn from them, and move forward. And with time, you’ll realize that every time you chose to face a storm with grace and the willingness to learn, you emerged stronger. You become immune to setbacks, not because they hurt any less, but because you now know how to survive them.

So if you’ve ever felt like life has thrown too many challenges your way too soon, know this: you’re among the luckiest. Life is preparing you for greatness. I can’t promise that the road ahead will be easier. But I can tell you this: the bigger the battle, the bigger the victory. And each time you rise, you'll find yourself miles ahead, stronger, wiser, and unstoppable.

At 28, my chest fills with pride, not for what I’ve achieved, but for the lessons I now carry into my 30s. The do’s, the don’ts, the silent warnings etched into memory, and the wisdom whispered by experience. But if there’s one truth I’ve learned about all these truths, it’s that none of them are absolute. You should never treat any lesson as gospel. Question them. Revisit them. Hold them against new light. Because life doesn’t always repeat its tests. Sometimes, the challenge is circumstantial. And what once worked like magic may not even fit the next time. Growth isn’t just about collecting lessons, it’s about knowing when to apply them, when to adapt them, and when to let them go.

1. Honour the Gifts That Make You, You

The first thing I want to carry into my 30s is a promise to never let go of the gifts God gave me—my empathy, creativity, and the artist within me. As a child, I was drawn to art. At just 4 or 5, I began learning knitting and embroidery by watching my mother. By 10, I was exploring crochet and local art forms—knitting a cardigan for my Barbie and a scarf for my brothers. My creative side only grew stronger in my teens, and I dreamed of studying fashion design after 12th. But like in many middle-class homes, art wasn’t considered a career, and I had to settle for a commerce degree—where I always felt I didn’t belong.

Music was another love. I never took it seriously until I sang at a college event and received overwhelming encouragement. Though my parents said no again, I kept practicing in silence. Years later, after launching a successful business, they finally gave me the green light. I began learning guitar and singing seriously, practicing for hours daily. But just as things were taking shape, the business failed, and I fell into depression. At 23, financially dependent again, I switched gears—prepped for a PhD scholarship, cracked it, and finished my doctorate in 3.5 years. I got a job even before my final defence. But something still felt missing.

At 28, I’ve realized that while I gained success, I lost the parts of me that mattered most—my art, my music, and my writing. Reconnecting with them now makes me feel whole again. And maybe someday, they’ll become more than just passions—they’ll become my way of life.

2. Don’t Be Addicted to Productivity

One habit I had to let go of was obsessing over productivity—counting every second, every task. I call it my "wannabe millionaire phase." While dreaming big isn’t wrong, tying your worth to constant hustle can leave you exhausted and directionless when things don’t go as planned. I believed that working more than others was the only way to get ahead—my biggest mistake.

It took years of burnout, anxiety, and wrong choices to realise that real productivity doesn’t come from clocking hours, but from working in a state of flow—when you're fully present and truly enjoying the process. Yes, routines matter. Discipline matters. But so do breaks. Rest isn't laziness; it's fuel. In fact, my best ideas came during quiet, restful moments—while their execution required focused action.

If you're only running without thinking, you might end up far from where you truly want to be. Life isn’t an exam you need to crack. It’s a journey—one where you know your goals, stay committed, but also take in the beauty along the way and rest when needed. That’s how you move forward—not just fast, but meaningfully.

3. Don’t Compare Yourself With Others

No two people in the world are the same. We all have different dreams, interests, and timelines. So don’t compare your chapter 10 to someone else’s chapter 12. Your journey, your pace, and your lessons are uniquely yours.

If someone wins a dance competition, it doesn't make your talent as a debater any less. You just chose a different game—and that’s okay. The real win is in choosing your own race, not blindly running someone else’s. Because if the race was never meant for you, you're meant to lose. But in your own arena, you’re already built to win.

4. Learn to Surrender

Yes, you read it right—surrendering doesn't mean losing. It means having the wisdom to recognize when something is beyond your control. True strength lies not in endlessly pushing against the immovable, but in knowing when to release the grip and trust the flow.

If you believe in God, surrender to divine timing. If you believe in the universe, trust its alignment. And even if you don’t believe in either, surrender to the unknown—what science has yet to uncover. Not everything needs an answer right now. Some things unfold only with time, growth, or discovery.

Surrender isn’t giving up. It’s choosing peace over struggle, faith over fear, and patience over panic. Sometimes, letting go is how you finally move forward.

5. Don’t Ignore Your Physical and Mental Health

You only get one. Nourish it, stretch it, listen to its cues. Don’t push through just to prove something. You're not a machine—you’re a human being with limits, and that’s okay.