Surviving and Thriving in a Toxic Work Culture

Before I stepped into my first formal job at 27, I had already navigated several enriching professional experiences. I had run an online jewellery business for nearly four years, submitted my doctoral thesis, and taught as a guest faculty for a year. My days were filled with what I now realise was the privilege of autonomy—I worked on my terms, chose my pace, and lived a life where the lines between passion and profession were beautifully blurred.

From the age of 20 to 24, while running the business, I was immersed in self-led learning and creative expression. I read extensively—30 to 35 books a year—pursued music, painting, and gardening, and nurtured my physical and mental health through journaling, walking, running, and reflection. Strangely, despite juggling so many activities, I never felt drained. On the contrary, the more I did, the more fulfilled I felt.

Even during my PhD which I started at 24—an inherently challenging journey where approvals and academic politics often weigh heavier than research itself—I still had some control over how and when I worked. While the process was mentally taxing, particularly due to over-dependence on a few individuals in power, I could still navigate it my way.

My first job felt exciting in the beginning. The structure, the team, the energy—it felt like a natural progression. But slowly, cracks began to appear. Despite putting in consistent effort, I found myself stuck in tasks with minimal visibility, limited learning, and little to no growth trajectory. Conversations with senior management revealed a disheartening truth: a system designed to delegate low-priority, labor-intensive work to newer hires while hoarding the rewarding opportunities at the top.

Over time, the sense of belonging faded. I saw how power dynamics, selective recognition, internal cliques, and subtle manipulation shape toxic work cultures—cultures where potential is not nurtured, but neutralized.

And while I considered leaving the industry altogether, I chose instead to pause, observe, and learn. Below are the seven most important lessons I took away—lessons that helped me survive, and eventually start to thrive, even in a toxic workplace.

1. Identify Red Flags Early

Toxicity doesn’t always appear in obvious forms. It often hides behind politeness, informal mentorship, or over-friendly behavior. I learned that some of the people who were most charming and helpful initially were the ones who later tried to diminish my confidence and sabotage my visibility.

If you're emotionally intuitive, it's easy to rationalize manipulative behavior as circumstantial. But it’s crucial to observe patterns over words, and draw quiet boundaries early. You don’t need to hold grudges, but you do need to remember who people show themselves to be.

2. Detach Emotionally, But Stay Engaged Professionally

I made the mistake of internalising the phrase "we are family" at work. I believed it. I acted on it. But workplaces are not families—they are professional ecosystems. In healthy ones, mutual respect and collaboration flourish. In toxic ones, emotional investment without boundaries can be exploited.

Emotional detachment isn’t cynicism—it’s a protective discipline. It allows you to perform your role well, while keeping your inner self safe. Your value isn’t defined by how others perceive you at work. Know your worth independently.

3. Set and Protect Your Boundaries

When I first joined, I was the cheerful, talk-to-everyone person in the office. Every tea break turned into a gathering, and I wore my warmth like a badge. But eventually, that warmth was mistaken for weakness. The very people I tried to uplift were quick to step over boundaries when it suited them.

I’ve learned that while kindness is a strength, professional distance is a necessity. Say no to excessive overtime, log off when the day ends, and be clear—politely, firmly—about your limits. Respect starts where boundaries are drawn.

4. Always Keep a Record

When navigating interactions with manipulative or unreliable colleagues or supervisors, it’s essential to maintain a personal record of key communications—emails, meetings, and decisions. Doing so not only safeguards you but also serves as evidence if the situation ever needs to be addressed formally with HR or through legal channels. Most importantly, ensure that all communication is in written form, ideally over email, to create a clear and verifiable trail.

5. Find Your Tribe

Look for colleagues who are genuinely positive, reliable, and professional. Even one supportive individual can make a world of difference in a toxic work environment. It’s important to share your frustrations when needed, but avoid letting every conversation turn into endless venting.

It would be unfair and inaccurate to claim that everyone at my workplace was toxic. I was fortunate to have a small circle—3 to 4 incredible people—who were nothing short of a blessing. The support and kindness they offered far outweighed the negativity from others. I vented to them often, sometimes even snapped out of frustration, but they never wavered. They helped me find calm in chaos, brought humour to heavy days, and most importantly, helped preserve the childlike spirit in me. I’ll always be deeply grateful for them.

6. Keep Your Exit Strategy Ready

Don’t get so emotionally involved that you forget to keep options open. I did. What impacted me the most was realising that when things took the worst turn, I had no backup plan—simply because I had viewed them as family. Leaving within a year had never even crossed my mind, so I hadn’t prepared myself for the possibility of needing an exit.

The hard truth is: you may need to walk away when your peace is compromised. Keep learning. Stay visible in your industry. Keep the door to new opportunities unlocked—just in case.

7. Reclaim Your Identity Outside of Work

Perhaps the deepest loss I felt wasn’t professional—it was personal. In trying to give 110% to every task (even the most thankless ones), I began to lose the vibrant version of myself. The reader, the artist, the learner, the dreamer—all parts of me slowly faded.

Toxic workplaces thrive on burnout. The antidote is to re-invest in yourself. Read. Paint. Walk. Learn something new. Revisit old passions. Rebuild the rituals that made you feel whole.

No workplace is perfect. But when toxicity becomes systemic, it’s important to protect your energy, re-centre your identity, and strategize your growth. You can’t always control the environment, but you can control how you respond to it.